Leading with Empathy
by Laura Poisson
Feeling empathy for others is something that has come pretty easily to me. Leading with empathy is different. It requires greater self-awareness, acknowledgement your own emotions, and a willingness to be vulnerable. I can have a genuine interest in understanding you, your strengths, challenges and feelings, but now I have to share mine too? Not so easy. So why should we do it?
Leading with empathy contributes to positive outcomes as it relates to innovation, engagement, retention, inclusivity, and managing work-life needs (according to a recent Forbes article and a new study of 889 employees by Catalyst). An empathetic leader creates an environment of open communication and psychological safety for employees to share what inspires, challenges, and energizes them; these are valuable insights when aligning business strategy and talent strategy. If you as a leader are willing to “put it out there” other people may be willing to take the chance as well, allowing people to show up more authentically. Additionally, empathetic leaders create the space for people to show up and connect on a personal level, which fosters feelings of connection and belonging.
While holding the space for people to express how they feel and be heard is beneficial, taking on the emotions of others or creating a forum for oversharing is draining and counterproductive. Be careful not to turn empathy into:
- Solving problems that are not yours to solve
- Playing the role of therapist
- Casting pity or judgement
- Mistaking validating and agreeing
The good news is that empathy is a skill that can be built and something that tends to improve with age. Whether you work with a coach, or embark on self-led discovery, I have experienced personally and seen with our coaching clients the profound impact this has on people’s lives. I am continuing on a life-long journey of learning and growing in this area and offer a few steps that have been helpful to me thus far.
5 steps to becoming a more empathetic leader:
- Increase your own self-awareness on the role your emotions/feelings play in how you perceive things, express yourself, maintain relationships, make decisions, and manage stress.
- Ask people how they are doing / what’s consuming their mind space before you launch into your agenda.
- Listen attentively. Validate. Let go.
- Pay attention to non-verbal cues and body language – what’s not being said. Communication is 7% words, 38% tone and 55% body language.
- Model behavior. Be willing to share more of your own emotions/feelings to create the space for other people to do the same.
➡ Take the next step toward becoming an empathetic leader with our 6-session Leading for Impact.
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“Nobody cares how much you know how much you care” –Theodore Roosevelt
