Quitting Without Burning Bridges
by Laura Poisson
As career transition consultants, we often provide guidance to employers regarding how to notify employees of a job loss in a way that minimizes the negative impact, honors the values of the organization, and treats every person with dignity and respect. Given that relationships are a two-way street, the same is true when you are resigning.
Every job you have is part of your career story that you will leverage to obtain your next position. Some of these jobs will be more impactful than others, but all provide you an opportunity to learn something new, form relationships, and build your reputation and brand. When you’ve decided it’s time to move on, here are some tips to protect your reputation and preserve the relationships that were cultivated during your employment:
- Have a discussion with your boss. Breaking the news that you are leaving can be stressful and difficult; take the time to have a one-on-one conversation. Skip the small talk and get right to the point.
Ex. “I have appreciated the opportunity to be part of ABC organization. I’ve learned so much and I’ve cultivated meaningful relationships – thank you for the opportunity. At this point in my career, I’ve decided it’s time for me to move on. I did not come to this decision lightly and I believe this is the right next step for me.”
- Work towards an end date that ensures a smooth transition for you and the organization. While two weeks’ notice is standard, depending on the circumstances and the level of your position, 3-4 weeks may be more appropriate to avoid leaving the organization and your colleagues in a tough spot. Offering flexibility here is a sign of respect and will be appreciated by your current boss and should be understood by your future boss.
Ex: “I’d like to discuss my end date and an offboarding plan that ensures a smooth transition for you and my colleagues. Do you feel that two weeks is workable, or do you need a bit more time? I can be flexible.”
Once you have agreed on a transition date, put your resignation letter in writing and clarify your last day.
- Respond graciously and remain professional even if your boss is upset. Rejection is unpleasant regardless of where it is coming from. People come and go from organizations all the time and your boss should be able to set aside their personal feelings and demonstrate professionalism even in this difficult situation. If they are expressing strong emotions or accusing you of betraying them, do not argue or debate the issue. Your best strategy is to empathize and de-escalate.
Ex: “I understand this is difficult to hear.” OR “I understand this is coming at a bad time.” OR “I understand you had different plans for me, I am willing to work with you to help make this transition as smooth as possible.”
If the conversation continues to go sideways, I suggest saying “clearly, you are really upset, and I think the best thing for me to do is give you some space. When you are ready to discuss our transition plan, please let me know.”
- Offer to help your peers through the transition. One potential impact of a resignation is disruption to business and increased workload for others who are likely to already be at capacity. Do what you can to set your peers and the company up for success by wrapping up current projects and documenting processes that will allow the next person to pick up where you left off. Remember co-workers are a part of your professional network and setting them up for success and offering to be available to answer questions when you are gone goes a long way in preserving these relationships.
- Be prepared for the counteroffer. Considering the current labor shortage, be prepared for your employer to attempt to reverse your decision. Proceed thoughtfully if this should happen. You quit for a reason and hopefully you evaluated your career aspirations, goals, needs, and opportunities prior to resigning, so revisit your pros and cons list and stay focused on what aligns most with your long-term aspirations.
Ex: “I appreciate your invitation for me to stay; please know that I thought carefully about this decision and feel it is time for me to move on. I am happy to work with you to ensure a smooth transition for you and the team.”
- Give/Receive Feedback on Your Way Out. Many organizations conduct exit interviews to identify any systemic issues and understand the reason for involuntary turnover. This is an opportunity for you to be authentic and offer critical feedback. Do not mistake this as an opportunity to unload all your grievances and bash your employer as it will not serve you well; use this as an opportunity to share honest and critical feedback that you think could be helpful-stay objective and neutral using phrases such as: “I observed”, “My impression was”, “My experience was.”
As it relates to obtaining feedback and/or references make sure you understand the company policy and discuss with your boss (if appropriate) your desire to continue to be part of each other’s professional network.
In conclusion, it’s a small world, and you never know where your next opportunity is coming from. When it’s time to move on, consider the long-term implications of how you quit; avoid burning bridges, and stay in alignment with your values and professional brand.
